Thursday, May 06, 2004

Aaargh. I have a million errands to run, but I can't do them, because I'm sitting around waiting for the ear, nose and throat doctor to return my call. I know that the doctor has to deal with people other than me, but it's still very frustrating. He's has been out of town for a week, and meanwhile I'm getting worse. I feel like my body is falling apart, and nobody but me seems all that concerned. That's probably unfair, but I'm still annoyed.

I'm having a really hard time dealing with my doctors. For one thing, I tend to downplay my symptoms. I didn't even realize I was doing this until my roommate overheard me talking to the rheumatologist on the phone and told me I was. The thing is, I don't want to sound like I'm whining. So they'll say "how bad is your vertigo?" and I'll say "well, it's not good, and I seem to have it a lot, but I can cope with it," or something like that. And then I expect them to realize that what that really means is "it's much, much worse than it was." I think the rheumatologist is really pissed off at me, because it took me several tries before I managed to convey to her how much worse it is.

Doctors seem to bring out my every deferential impulse, and I really need to get over it.

In other news, I get to spend the entire day grading papers. Lucky me!

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