Sunday, May 23, 2004
Ok, so I am, again, suddenly and inexplicably exhausted. This is beginning to make me nervous, for two reasons. First of all, there's the rare but serious heart complication that's associated with the Very Rare Condition. And secondly, and I think this is the more likely cause, there's the possibility that I'm having blood sugar issues. Blood sugar issues are, like just about every other unpleasant thing known to woman, a possible side effect of prednisone. (I have been having particularly good hair days recently. My face may be a bloated, spotty mess, but my hair is shiny and bouncy and wavy and a total contrast to its usual stick-straight boringness. I'm wondering if this could be a good prednisone side-effect. Or maybe it's the humidity.) I've definitely been more thirsty than usual, and I'm peeing all the time. I'm getting up to pee four or five times a night. These, along with fatigue, are the things I was told indicate blood sugar problems. So tomorrow I'm going to have to call the doctor, and I'm sure she'll make me come in for another blood test, and I'm just really bored of being poked and prodded and having blood drawn. I have an ear doctor appointment tomorrow, too, which I suppose is good, because if I need to get blood taken I'll already be at the hospital. But honestly, I'm getting really bored with being sick. I'm getting bored with doctors. I don't know if there are stages of dealing with illness, the way there are stages of grief, but if so, I'm out of denial and anger and into I just really want my old life back.
Yeah, I know, whine, whine, whine. Ok, there are some good things in my world, too.
- My friend R. got a job. And not just any job. Her dream job. Pretty much anyone's dream job, actually. R got just about the best job that any recently-minted PhD could get. I am giddy with glee for her. And also, it's a in a place that I will very much enjoy visiting.
- I got through an entire year without a single plagiarized paper. I mean, it's possible that I missed some. But I made a good faith effort to catch plagiarists, and I didn't find any, and that's good enough for me.
- A bunch of my students are taking me out for a thank-you coffee tomorrow. I am unreasonably touched by this gesture. I am also secretly a little worried that it's not a thank-you coffee, but a "you were a terrible teacher" intervention. But I think that might just be a combination of prednisone and PMS.
- Mangos. I had forgotten how much I love mangos. Tomorrow for breakfast I am going to make myself a mango lassi, otherwise known as a mango smoothie, otherwise known as the best beverage ever invented. And that will clearly make everything better.
I went through all that too. I got up to pee an average of 6 times a night. It drove me nuts. I was also insatiably hungry and thirsty. The good news is that it does stop almost immediately once you stop taking the prednisone. It's a pretty common side effect, so I wouldn't get too worried (although it's incredibly annoying).
I got bored too. I wanted my life back. I wanted my eyeballs back. I wanted my personality back (because prednisone made me a witch). I can't really say anything that will make you feel significantly better, except to say that it's normal to feel the way you do.