Sunday, July 17, 2005

I have an odd admission to make.

Sometimes I enjoy having vertigo.

Don't get me wrong: my vertigo is a pain in the ass. It's been a particularly bad week, probably because I had my period, and I have not enjoyed being so seasick that I've puked. I didn't really enjoy cleaning the house this morning; it would have been easier if the floor had been willing to stay still. Getting around is still a hassle, and it's hard to do much of anything when it's really acting up.

But right now, it feels great. I'm lying on my bed, the overhead fan is on, I've got my half-finished Harry Potter book and a cup of tea, and I'm gently bouncing. My vertigo can feel like a number of different sensations. Often I feel like I'm spinning or on a plane that's banking, both of which are shitty and nausea-inducing. I sometimes have the sensation that I'm falling backwards or sliding forwards, which is ok as long as I'm sitting down but disconcerting if I'm trying to stand or walk. Sometimes I feel like I'm being pushed into the ground. I don't like that one, although I can't put my finger on why. But bouncing is fun. It's relaxing: it's a bit like having an internal rocking chair. As long as I don't have to get out of bed, I could very happily stay like this for hours.

The road-trip specialist, who knows more about the very rare condition than anyone on the planet, says that flares typically last for 3-6 months. The last one was almost exactly three months; this one has been almost five. I would very much like for this flare to end, and I won't miss it when it goes away. But I might miss the lazy, bouncing Sunday afternoons. I might even have to spend good money to buy a rocking chair and replicate the sensation.

You should get a magnet that says "support you vertigo!" for your car. Ha. Ha.

This is mostly just a comment to say I like your blog.
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