Wednesday, November 16, 2005

God Hates Fags: Northern Ireland Edition

Maurice Mills, a member of the Northern Irish Democratic Unionist Party and a local politician in the town of Ballymena, thinks that Hurricane Katrina was punishment for letting gay people have a party. I guess it's no longer politically correct to say that New Orleans was punished for being full of Catholics.

So I just had a pretty nasty conversation with the treasurer of my building, who left me a message on my answering machine informing me that I would be charged a $50 late fee for getting the rent in a day late. The good news is that I'm not being charged the fee. The bad news is that I was really rude, and I think the era of good feelings in my building may be over.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Another Public Service Announcement

It turns out that Lance Berkman is not Jewish. He is, in fact, certifiably Christian. Sadly, or maybe not sadly, fans of Jewish Astros will have to make do with Brad Ausmus.

Something like half my google hits are either people searching for "Kate Moss anorexic" or "Lance Berkman Jewish," so I thought I should clear that up.

No word yet on whether Kate Moss is anorexic. I will keep you posted as information becomes available.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Michelle Malking: Ableist Jerk

So Michelle Malkin thinks it's "in poor taste" for reporters to talk about Charles Krauthammer "doing a touchdown dance" in glee at the Alito nomination, since Krauthammer uses a wheelchair.

You know what's insensitive? Implying that disabled people can't play sports. You'd think that the buzz surrounding Murderball would have alerted Malkin to the existence of wheelchair sports. Perhaps Malkin should contact the Universal Wheelchair Football Association and ask them if wheelchair football players have ever been known to perform touchdown dances.

I bet the answer is yes.

Friday, November 04, 2005

I'm in the market for a new cane.

Will this one make it look like I'm trying too hard?

I'm really fond of the Cane Lady, who sells hand-painted canes.

She does flowery ones, but she also has abstract ones and ones that are painted to look like cigars. And she does custom orders. Anyone have any brilliant ideas for something I could get painted on a cane?

Here's what I need from a cane. First of all, I need it to subtley but clearly make the point that, although I am using a cane, I am not only achingly hip and infinitely sexy, but also fun, witty, and intelligent. It needs to so distract people with its fabulousness that they will forget to ask me why I need a cane. Extra bonus points if it scares off potential muggers. Also, it needs to go with any outfit, and I need to be able to take it to work. I would also like to be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and solve the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle in a single sitting, but perhaps that's too much to ask of a cane.

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